Wearing White After Labor Day

Posted by Adam Hart September 2, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Wanna make something of it? Didn’t think so. Just be a good little sportsfan and read along…

It Only Makes Sense
To be wearing white today. For one, I like to go against the grain. It’s part of what makes me so awesome. But the main reason is that I am wearing a white “Enrollment Day 2008″ Bryant University t-shirt. I spent Saturday morning moving my sister in for her first year of college, and for it I received this kickass t-shirt — kickass because it was free. And because it highlights my sexy upper body.

Moving along… Beth, my sister, is a talented young lady featured on this blog in times past, for the high approval rating of her graduation from high school, and her fine skills behind the camera at the Patriots Cheerleaders’ Paw Wash. I’ll miss Beth while she’s away at school. Who will be home when I return from work in the late AM to go to Stop & Shop with me? Who will listen to my boring stories day after day? Who will be there to make cookies at random? Not Beth. And that makes me sad.

By the way, I’m not even sure what the basis is for this law of the fashion world, and I don’t really care. I’m wearing white; that’s all there is to it. Although, maybe Stacy London of TLC’s What Not To Wear could enlighten me. I find myself strangely attracted to her. Maybe it’s that gray streak in her hair. Maybe it’s her hilariously bitchy comments to every makeover subject on that show. Either way, a connection isn’t happening. Despite my sexy body, she has been seen with Doug Wilson of Trading Spaces. So, when it comes to the whiteout rule, the world may never know.

And Another Thing
The Red Sox are at their best when wearing white after Labor Day. So it can’t be wrong. The Sox are laying a hurting on the Orioles at Fenway Park as I write this post. Three week’s ago I thought they were cashed out, lacking the makeup to win the World Series. But the way Dustin Pedroia & Co. are playing, it has me thinking that the Angels are in trouble when the first round of the playoffs start. I say everyone wear white until the Sox get knocked out of the playoffs. And I also say that I need to change the topic. Dead horses are too easy a target.

Excited?
I know I am. The BC Eagles scored all 3 of their touchdowns on Saturday night on the ground. 5th year freshman (Coach Jeff Jagodzinski’s words, not mine) Chris Crane has taken the reigns of this offense, stepping into Matt Ryan’s place. I didn’t get the chance to watch the game, but, if going only by these highlights, it appears that the Eagles are using much less of a pro-style offense.

Don’t get me wrong — last year’s run with Ryan was exciting. It even culminated in his selection as the 3rd overall pick in the 2008 NFL Draft by the Atlanta Falcons.

But there is something thrilling about the option game — a different style than Ryan offered. I’m ready. Give me more Eagles football, please.

What Do You Think?
Is there a similarity in intensity between the Tony Micelli slide in the Who’s the Boss? intro and Fernando Perez’s slide in a Durham Bulls game? First, take a look at Tony’s slide. Embedding has been disabled, unfortunately. So click here to view it.

And now the moves by Fernando Perez:

You can go with the classic or the “new school” version. I’m sticking with my boy Tony, though. (This topic comes courtesy of Awful Announcing, via Deadspin.)

Let’s Do This As Tastefully As Possible
Word broke yesterday — strike that — rumors broke yesterday that John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, did not actually have her most recent child. That instead the pregnancy was a cover up and the baby belonged to her daughter, Bristol. That led to Monday’s announcement that Bristol is currently 5-months pregnant, making that rumor impossible. But, seriously, come on. Who would have believed that rumor in the first place. In the style of McCain himself, allow me to remove my “News Organization Employee Hat” and replace it with my “25-year-old Guy Hat”.

(Adjusting hat) There, that’s better. That original rumor is clearly untrue, because of the U.S. Constitution. The 19th Amendment clearly states that men should attempt to — with permission, obviously — make babies with a beautiful woman as many times as possible ‘on account of sex‘iness. Palin falls into this category, for an older lady. So, the baby is, without a doubt, Sarah Palin’s. Because her husband Todd can’t just stop trying. It’s the law. Expect at least 4 more little Palin’s on the way. After all, a Vice President should be as patriotic as possible.

Moving Along
Well, that was nice. My creativity sometimes gets the best of me. But what’s done is done. Maybe Congress will think about adopting these changes to our nation’s most sacred document. If not, at least we can watch the Revs silence David Beckham.

I was at this game. Great turnout by the Revs faithful. Although, I believe most in attendance were only there for one reason — the same reason as my cousin Cheryl, who said to me after the game, “Thanks for getting me the closest to David Beckham that I ever will.”

P.S. Before I return that “News Organization Employee Hat” to my head, I have a question. Is anyone else wary of Palin because she lives in Alaska? If I learned anything from the movie Insomnia, it’s that people only move to Alaska when they have something to hide. Granted, she was like 2 when her family made the move, but I just can’t shake it from my mind. The only reason people should live in Alaska is to take part in the Iditarod or Discover Channel’s Deadliest Catch:

Easily the best commercial on TV. Okay, enough of my gibberish. Enjoy the day.