A Conspiracy Theory on Our Hands

Posted by Adam Hart November 22, 2008 (2 weeks ago) at 3:13 pm

Here’s a hint. It includes the Patriots and the Jets. A camera is involved. But there isn’t any spying. Can you guess what it is? Read more

Running With the Bolts

Posted by Adam Hart October 12, 2008 at 8:45 pm

It is Week 6 in the NFL season. I am tired from staying at work for hours after last night’s Red Sox game. I am tired of posting the same political campaign speeches to NECN.com. But I’m not too tired to watch the Patriots turn the lights out! Read more

NFL Picks, Week 5

Posted by Mike Giardi October 4, 2008 at 10:14 am

Without further adieu, my Week 5 NFL picks.

New England (-3) at San Francisco - We’ll see what Matt Cassel’s made of. If it doesn’t look good, rev up the Kevin O’Connell bus. Pats, 24-14.

Tennessee (-3) at Baltimore - Anyone who suggests there is a QB controversy in Tennessee is a fool. Kerry Collins is the starter, Vince Young his caddy. Ravens, 17-14.

Washington at Philadelphia (-6) - The NFC East is just taking turns beating the crap out of each other. That’s good fun. Eagles, 24-21.

Cincinnati at Dallas (-17) - My guy Ryan Fitzpatrick starter at QB for the Bengals last week. He looked awful. But I still believe…that he’ll at least get a cover this weekend. Cowboys, 31-17.

Tampa Bay at Denver (-3) - Brian Griese is 1-0 in revenge games this year, having already beaten the Bears. Can he do the same to the Broncos, who would give up 42 points to Division 1-AA UNH? Nah. Broncs rebound, 21-17.

Pittsburgh at Jacksonville (-4) - The Steelers are beat up. They lost their best lineman, and their first-round draft choice. Word is, Mike Tomlin placed calls to Franco Harris, Rocky Bleier and Mean Joe Greene. Unfortunately, they’re all about 60 now. Damn, I’m old. Jags, 27-24.

Atlanta at Green Bay (no line) - This could be the battle of two rookie QBs. Matt Ryan and his pedigree for the A-T-L, and Matt Flynn, a 7th rounder out of LSU. Oddly enough, I’m feeling Flynn in this matchup. Pack, 20-14.

San Diego (-6 1/2) at Miami - The Chargers haven’t been nearly what we thought. What their excuse? No Merriman?? San Diego, 21-17.

Kansas City at Carolina (-9 1/2) - I will not insult the Chiefs again this year, even if they stink. Panthers, 24-17.

Chicago (-3 1/2) at Detroit - The Lions have been freed of Matt Millen’s presence. Unfortunately, they still have all the players he picked. Bears, 21-10.

Buffalo at Arizona (-1) - I think the Bills magical mystery tours ends in Arizona. I know. I’m delirious. The Cards just gave up 56 points to the Jets. Whatever. Call it a feeling. Cards, 20-17.

Indianapolis (-3) at Houston - The bye week will do Peyton good. Colts, 31-21.

Seattle at NY Giants (-7) - Matt Hasselback’s actually getting some of his receivers back. Seahawks end the G-Men’s run toward perfection. Seattle 28-21.

Minnesota at New Orleans (-3) - The Vikes season is already hanging in the balance. Who cares? Brees blows up in prime time. Saints, 28-20.

Last Week: 7-6 vs Spread (25-20)

9-4 Picking Straight Winners (30-15)

* can’t find results for Week 2 (fine archive system!)

Adjusted (Totally Biased) U.S. Medal Count

Posted by Adam Hart August 21, 2008 at 8:57 pm

We have all heard the phrase “games are won on the field, not on paper”. This has never rung more true than during these current Olympics. The United States has slipped in some events, and some other factors have come in to play. As of this posting, the medal count is led by America over host country China. But the Chinese are dominating in the Gold medal category. I’m here to adjust the medal count the way it should be — in a best-case-scenario favored toward the United States. WARNING: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Wouldn’t want anyone getting bent out of shape over hyperbole and not-funny jokes. This is not meant to be a hardcore examination of the medal count, but more of a “what if”. I’ll leave the serious analysis to Bela Karolyi.

Current, Accurate Medal Count

United States: 95 Total — 29 Gold, 34 Silver, 32 Bronze

China: 83 Total — 46 Gold, 15 Silver, 22 Bronze

Nice. We’re beating China in the category of “finishing in 2nd and 3rd place”. Dominating them, in fact. How special. But we’re America. We love gold. Or is that the Netherlands? Regardless, we could have more of the shiny stuff — bronze, gold or silver.

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Here are the medals we should have and China should not have. The new totals will be featured at the end. Read along:

Alicia Sacramone, Gymnastics Ind. Vault
It’s not what you’re thinking. Because some guy who used to do gymnastics explained how the Team Final silver finish was not her fault. That result will not be contested. But her individual final in the Vault was deserving of better than 4th place. Bronze medalist Cheng Fei landed on her knees (4:00 mark) on her second vault. If you can tell me that Fei’s busted landing is more deserving of a bronze than Sacramone’s vaults, then I will be asking to see your Chinese citizenship card, please. Another method for determining your standing as a Chinese National would be to ask how many children you have. But that would be a bit personal, and probably rude under the circumstances.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Bronze, -1 Bronze for China

Nastia Liukin, Gymnastics Ind. Uneven Bars
In some cockamamy tiebreak system, Liukin was issued silver in this event despite earning the same exact score as He Kexin of China. Yes, He is a girl. It came down to the 2nd tiebreak, which averages the 3 lowest of the B score deductions. Liukin lost this tiebreak by .33 of a point. If it were up to me, the girl who won the all-around gold, in this case Liukin, would win the tiebreak no matter the mathematics. But I am biased. Still, Liukin should have a 2nd gold. I know her Fahza was disappointed in the new tiebreak system, since he simply shared the gold with his teammate under the same circumstances back in his days as an Olympic gymnast for the USSR. They should have just called this spade a spade and awarded He the gold on the tiebreak of “home field advantage”.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Gold, -1 Gold for China (+1 Silver)

Paul Hamm, Gymnastics Ind. All-Around
The anchor of the US Men’s Gymnastics team, Hamm was forced out of the Beijing Games due to injuries to his hand and shoulder. His brother Morgan also missed these 2008 Games due to injury. Paul won gold in the Individual All-Around in Athens and led his team to a silver finish as well in the Team All-Around. Transfer a 1st place finish in the floor portion of individual all-around to the Event Final, and his absence is heavily felt in Beijing.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +2 Gold, +1 Silver, -1 Bronze (Team placing)

Lolo Jones, 100m Hurdles
This one breaks my heart. Mainly due to my “Olympic-sized crush” on Ms. Jones.

Poor Lolo. Leading the pack, she clipped the 2nd-to-last hurdle and dropped down to 7th place. After crawling into a ball in front of the thousands in attendance, Lolo proceeded to duck into the tunnel underneath the Birds Nest and stand leaning against the wall, with no one to console her. I could have consoled her. It would have been a scene fit for a movie — a pg-13 rated movie, you sicko. Instead of providing NBC with a magical moment, I was on the other side of the globe curtailing my bedtime for a chance to watch Lolo in action. Frustrating.

Anyway, had Lolo taken 1st in this race, the U.S. would have won silver and gold, with Dawn Harper being bumped down to silver.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Silver

Tyson Gay, Track 100m
Talk about disappointing. Gay didn’t even qualify for the finals. Instead he sat on the sideline and watched Usain Bolt break the world record with ease.

In U.S. Olympic Qualifying, Gay ran a wind aided 9.68 in the 100m. In this final race, where Bolt coasted to victory, the Jamaican ran a 9.69 non-wind aided. The safe bet is that Gay would have placed 2nd had he ran in this final heat.

Also take into account that Gay was a part of that botched baton pass on the 4×100m relay team, and this really turns into a disappointing performance for him. The women’s team suffered the same fate, with neither reaching the finals. Both were considered contenders for the gold in this event.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Silver, -1 Bronze, +2 Gold

Deena Kastor, Marathon
Deena won the Boston qualifying for the Olympics with a time of 2 hours, 29 minutes, 35 seconds. She did not finish the Olympic race, breaking her foot along the route. Romania’s Constantina Tomescu won the race with a time of 2 hours, 26 minutes, 44 seconds. Zhou Chunxiu of China placed third with a time of 2 hours, 27 minutes, 7 seconds. No doubt Deena would have taken the Bronze in this race. She’s a workhorse. But she can’t be asked to battle both the Beijing air and a broken foot.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Bronze, -1 Bronze for China

USA Softball, Softball
I’m not one for conspiracy theories. So let’s just say that USA Softball actually lost to Japan fair and square in the last time this event will be a part of the Games. There is only one thing to say: this was not supposed to happen. This is like the Patriots losing to the Giants in that Super Bowl people seem to think was real. It defies logic.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Gold, -1 Silver

Ian Crocker, 100m Butterfly
.01 …That’s what stood between Crocker and a bronze medal in this event. Of course, had Michael Phelps not been so greedy, Bronze would have been a lock for Crocker. But Olympic medals are not gifts, even though I’m handing them out like I’m Montgomery Brewster. Crocker needed to put .01 seconds worth of effort more into this race.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Bronze

Boo Boo Andrade, Boxing
The Providence, RI native got hosed. At least that’s the consensus among USA Boxing. And I believe them. There is no way the reigning world welterweight champion lost to a South Korean. No way, no how. And how could the judges not reverse their decision after seeing Boo Boo’s reaction? Soulless jerks. Clearly not Seoul-less. Get it?
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Gold

US Men’s Handball, Team Handball
Did not qualify for the Olympics. This sport will soon gain momentum in the States. Be prepared, World.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: No Change, but we would have made a good showing

US Women’s Water Polo, Water Polo
I’m not much of a Water Polo guy, but it seems like a 9-8 loss is a close one. Perhaps the women could have squeezed out a victory for a spot in the Gold medal game. Perhaps not. Still, the medal was in their sight and now they settle for bronze or nothing.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Silver

Venus & Serena, Women’s Singles Tennis
Watching Elena Dementieva play tennis may be enjoyable, but there is no reason one of the Williams sisters shouldn’t have won the gold. In fact, they should have gone 1-2. For shame. I mean, their gold in the women’s doubles is nice, but China earned the bronze in that event. That puts us even in the overall Women’s Tennis medal count.
Adjusted U.S. Medals: +1 Gold, +1 Silver

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Overall Adjusted, Biased Medal Count (Hopefully my arithmetic is spot on)

United States: 108 Total, 37 Gold, 38 Silver, 33 Bronze
China: 80 Total, 45 Gold, 15 Silver, 20 Gold

The United States still has a chance for Gold in Men’s & Women’s Basketball, Men’s & Women’s Volleyball, Men’s Beach Volleyball, Baseball, Men’s Water Polo, and maybe some other events I have yet to take into account. Best case scenario, that would put the U.S. at 44 Gold medals with this adjusted medal count, and only 1 behind the Chinese. In real life, these added events only puts the United States at 36 (as of this post). These Olympics had the chance to feature an olde fashioned gold medal shootout. Instead, the Chinese are pulling away. But I guess that’s what the host country is supposed to do. ……………Wait one second. When was the last time America accepted that type of excuse? Lord knows George Washington didn’t (beware of foul language). I think we’ve gone soft. Mental errors have infected Team USA like a bad case of mono. It may be time to think about taking a new approach to training for the London Games in 2012.

Yeah! Get the blood flowing. That’s more like it. With this type of coaching, we could double the gold medals of the nearest competitor in 2012. Let’s make it happen, Juicebox.

THE END.

If you’re more of a “facts” person who enjoys “the way things really are”, then here is the updated official medal count. Oh, and enjoy reading the Wall Street Journal and doing your taxes.

Read more

When 23rd Place is Worthy of Gold

Posted by Mike Giardi August 18, 2008 at 10:32 am

I have never quite understood why athletes would put the one body they have through a marathon. That’s not some 5-mile jaunt. We’re talking about 26.2 miles. I don’t care what kind of shape you’re in, feet and ankles and knees and quads and hips just aren’t built to tolerate such abuses. Truthfully, it is why I’ve always toyed with the idea of training for one, just to sadistically document the pain my aging body would be in on a daily basis. I remember a colleague of mine ran Boston a few years back. He lost all his toenails and had to miss two straight days of work because of just how miserable he felt. And that guy was in shape!

The attached picture is of Britain’s Paula Radcliffe, who dreamed of Olympic golf in Beijing. She harbored those same thoughts in 2004, but was forced to drop out in Athens. Then, bad luck struck again. Radcliffe was diagnosed with a stress fracture of her femur in May. No way could she properly complete her training for Saturday’s Olympic final. No way could she think about winning, let alone finishing. But Radcliffe proved will is stronger than pain, and she labored through some of the most painful steps any athletes has ever taken in completing the long journey. 23rd place doesn’t earn you any medals or endorsements. It does, however, earn Radcliffe a place in my Olympic memory banks. That was as courageous a performance I’ve ever witnessed, any sport, any time. I’m sure that’s of little consequence to her, but I’ll be thinking about her when I’m laboring through my late morning run. How can I stop when she wouldn’t?

Oh yeah… New England’s quiet golds

Posted by Ted McEnroe August 18, 2008 at 8:36 am

They don’t get the flashy headlines, or even the chance to stand on the podium with their mates, but a pair of New Englanders are bringing home gold medals for their Olympic performances. Swimmers Ian Crocker (Portland, Maine) and Erik Vendt (North Easton, Mass.) will leave Beijing with gold medals for doing the grunt work of getting relay teams into finals so that Michael Phelps and Co. could rest up to smash world records in the finals.

For Crocker, the medal is nice, I’m sure, but he would have rather grabbed the gold (or at least a silver behind Phelps) in the 100 fly. It’s his third medley relay gold, but he leaves Beijing without an individual gold medal in his Olympic career, although his world record (50.40) is still intact.

For Vendt, it is the best restult he could expect. He knew going in that barring injury, the 4×200 prelim would be his time in the water, and it gives a gold to a guy who picked up silver in the 400 IM in Sydney and Athens.

Bottom line, these guys have been putting in the miles for the past four years, and they deserve a little applause for their achievements - even if they received just a splash of attention.

The Olympics are an addiction. The good kind.

Posted by Adam Hart August 18, 2008 at 1:47 am

You know, like running, volunteering and women. Like doing your homework, religion and funnyordie.com. Like training dogs, barstoolsports.com and looking on the bright side. Even wearing your hate blockers would qualify. But that’s about it for the good addictions. The rest are evil. Here’s what makes the Olympic Games such a healthy obsession:

Triggering My Memory

Whenever someone says “U.S. Olympians”, all my mind thinks is “U.S. Americans“. It gets me every time. Luckily, the IOC is all about the promotion of maps in educational systems across the globe. You know, to help the Iraq and the Asian countries… such as.

Lack of PEDs

No, not feet. Performance Enhancing Drugs. If it were up to me, everything in that category would be referred to as ’steroids’ to save my tongue the extra work. But it’s not up to me. It’s up to scientists. Anyway, does anyone notice anything particularly strange about the U.S. Track & Field team so far in these games? Anything at all? Yeah, it’s that they are stinking up the joint. I don’t understand why they didn’t train like Marion Jones used to train. That girl knew how to win.

Olympic Style Breakfasts

Worldwide Domination

Yeah, I’m talking about you, Michael Phelps. Never one to enjoy swimming, I actually got into his Race for 8. Every twist and turn was exhilarating. From beating those stinky Frenchmen, to finishing strong in the 100m Butterfly, to swimming with water in his goggles. Apparently that is a huge disadvantage. I wouldn’t know, because I am blind as a bat. So the water is blurry to me goggles or no goggles. Still, Phelps’ 8 medals will be remembered by all who watched.

Not Paying Attention to the LLWS

I hate the Little League World Series. I really do. You see one of those behemoths out there on the mound dominating other teams.

It’s one thing to actually play in the games, etc., etc. But watching that stuff on TV is painful. Don’t worry Shelton. I still like you. You are the home of my beloved Wiffle Ball. I just want to know what kind of Wiff player gives away his secrets?

Having A Heart

If you read this and don’t feel for Alicia Sacramone, you should be deported. And not to a nice place.

(Photo credit US Presswire via LA Times)

More!

We still have more events coming our way. More days filled with obscure sports. I will be sad when these Olympics are gone. But, for now, I am just going to keep riding this wave of goodness. Join me, friends.

Gold for New England rowers

Posted by Ted McEnroe August 17, 2008 at 11:25 am

Some of the best-known New England athletes fell short in their quests for gold, (Alicia Sacramone finished fourth in the women’s vault), but New England rowers Anna Goodale (Camden, Maine) and Eleanor Logan (Boothbay, Maine) are wearing the gold, after the U.S. women’s eight emerged victorious in rowing.

New England men will come home with hardware as well - Daniel Walsh (Norwalk, Conn.) and Wyatt Allen (Portland, Maine) were part of the men’s eight, which took bronze today.

Not a rock-sold day for New Englanders on the track today, though. Massachusetts-born Deena Kastor could not finish the women’s marathon (a foot injury forced her out at mile three), and Anna Willard (Greenwood, Maine and Brown Univ.) ended up tenth in the women’s 3000 meter steeplechase, three seconds behind Jennifer Barringer, who set a new American record in ninth.

Silver for Guerette; Crocker, Beisel just miss

Posted by Ted McEnroe August 16, 2008 at 9:40 am

Connecticut has picked up another medal in these Olympic games. Rower Michelle Guerette will come home with a silver in the women’s single sculls, just missing gold with a final charge in the final 1000 meters of her event.

Guerette was in fifth place at the halfway point of the event, 4.5 seconds off the lead, before picking up her pace. She cut the gap in half and moved into third by 1500 meters, then charged home with the fastest time in the 500, falling just short in her effort to catch Rumyana Neykova of Bulgaria.

Meanwhile at the Cube, a primetime U.S. audience saw Ian Crocker fall .01 short of the medal stand in the 100 meter butterfly, and Elizabeth Beisel (Saunderstown, RI) finish a solid fifth in her first Olympic final in the 200 meter backstroke. Beisel, at 15, is just getting her career started. But for Crocker, it is likely the end (except for the prelims in the medley relay) of his Olympic career.

Conquering the Phelps Breakfast

Posted by Adam Hart August 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm

NECN meteorologist Joe Joyce has had his time on the bicycle, riding in the Pan Mass Challenge. But does that mean he can handle the Michael Phelps breakfast? Joe put himself to the test, eating 3 fried egg sandwiches, 1 five-egg omelet, 1 bowl of grits, 3 slices of French toast and 3 chocolate chip pancakes over 2.5 hours of Good Morning Live. It turns out this may not have been the best idea. But Joe is still alive. So take that, Wall Street Journal.

Here is the progression of Joe’s Olympic appetite. The goggles help to cut down on resistance. And they allow him to see the world in the color blue. That’s a nice feature.

There has been talk that Joe will try to reverse course and fast for the next week. But that would be just as unhealthy and very unpatriotic.

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